The Sometimes Troubling Comedy of Will Weldon

month

April 2011

4 posts

People get upset at CRAAAAZY stuff...

I recently watched this video by ball of hate Doug Giles, and was deeply and truly grossed out by… everything about him. So I posted the following comment:

“I would rather my daughter date a thousand Hannibal Lecters than spend five minutes with this guy.”

(The video is an advertisement for his book about how to raise your daughter)

I was sent a message saying the comments were moderated, so I was positive it would be deleted. It was not, and I got some interesting responses.

“@willweldon Why do you hate your daughter so much?

frogsoda 4 weeks ago”


“Really? I’m so sorry for your daughter; I will pray for her, and you. mtnsmith1106 4 weeks ago”
”willweldon, I doubt you even have a daughter and if you do, you don’t love her enough to teach her to put up with the crap in this world. calvaryviewlane 4 weeks ago”

So far, a lot of people who believe I am being sincere when I say I would rather my daughter (who is not real) date one thousand exact same versions of a cannibalistic murderer, than spend three hundred seconds some dickhead.

”@willweldon I totally agree, since your daughter would get past the first Hannibal Lecter right? Idiot. facexxxface 4 weeks ago”

This guy decides to point out the fallacy of the logic in my mean spirited joke.

“@willweldon - you truly are a moron aren’t you? Be sure you let your daughter know this someday and see how she feels about it. Be sure she knows who Hannibal Lechter is (yes I know he is a fictional character) and what he did first. I’m am SURE she will understand your feelings…tygerpaw 3 weeks ago”

After explaining who Hannibal Lecter is and what his (fictional) crimes were, I’m sure she would take my comment to mean I do not like Doug Giles, as she will have learned about hyperbole. She will also feel that I spend too much time being a dink on youtube (my wife already does).

“@willweldon I sure hope you do not have children or even better, the ability to procreate. Your daughters would be the ones with the maturity of a 13 yr old at the age of 25-30 yrs old. Still living at home and sleeping with those “Thousand Hannibal Lecter’s” in the room down the hall from you. All with your support…No wonder America is skidding to Hell……” Morals…?? We don’t need no stinkin’ morals !” stdpudelz 3 weeks ago

I was tempted to correct this person’s spelling, but decided that was so 2004, and decided to reply this way:

”@stdpudelz I never said she’d sleep with the Hannibal Lecters, that’s just where your disgusting, perverted brain went. I’ve heard of sick stuff, but fetishizing young women copulating with cannibals is beyond disgusting.”
”@willweldon With a worthless sp erm donor for a father like you, who obviously could care less for her safety, she just might.Deb1inFla 2 weeks ago”

Maybe I just know something about Doug Giles you don’t? Like that he is a real person, who obviously hates women.
Finally, I got this one:

“@willweldon — Well, Will, it worked. I clicked on your ID link just to check out what sort of Buffalo Bob dickweed you might be — and LOL!! It’s a publicity stunt, folks. Will Weldon is a professional comedian, and I must say, a pretty funny one at that. So, belay the righteous wrath, good people. Will is just playing on the old adage that there is no such thing as “bad” publicity. And of course, no sentient being would say and really believe what he said here anyway. Touche’ and. Break a leg. YankeeAirPirate 2 weeks ago”

To which I responded by saying that I did, in fact, LITERALLY want my daughter to date one thousand murderers. I have no idea if it’ll be posted. Thank you for indulging me, everyone.

Apr 18, 20112 notes
“Sun News hits the air with a vow to shake up a market dominated by two broadcasters – CBC and CTV. Both operate 24-hour news channels with a fairly centrist perspective on current events, one the newcomer’s backers dismiss as politically correct and “boring.” —

Here comes the Sun (News Network). Will it shine?

Yes, there’s nothing worse than when the news is politically correct. I long for the days when we can have headlines like “Some faggot gets beaten up, but it’s okay because he’s an A-Rab.”

Apr 16, 20110 notes
Rejected sports team names...

(via super neat sports)

With the Sacramento Kings likely moving cities and potentially changing their Franchise moniker, we’re taking a look at some of the all time rejected sports team names, professional and otherwise.

1. The Tennessee Court Mandated Volunteers

2. The Chicago Fucktards

3. The Notre Dame Chrashing Internets

4. The New England Hard Rs

5. The Minnesota Who Gives a Shits

6. If Milwaukee had a dollar for every time they heard THAT

7. The New York Mehs

8. Jeff Gillooly’s Little League Clubbers

9. The Bad News, You Have Five Months to Live Bears

10. The Dallas Ching-Chong Chinamen (Originally pitched as Dallas Dirty Orientals)

11. UCLA Special Little Guys

12. The Make a Wish Foundations Let us Wins

Apr 16, 20112 notes
Play
Apr 14, 201163 notes
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