My wife has been out of town for a few weeks now, and while she’s been gone I’ve been watching the worst movies on Netflix’s watch instantly. So far the worst one has been “The Ugly Truth” and I’m only twenty minutes in. Here are some of things I’ve been thinking since it started:
-I’m going to pitch a film about a movie star who has absolutely no charisma (his break out role was him in a loin clothe screaming every single line of dialogue) but no one in the industry will admit. It will star Gerard Butler, and he will win an oscar for his spot on performance.
-Gerard Butler’s character is treated like some sort of edgy, crazy, truth teller, when he’s just a misogynist with insights on par with the worst comic at the Comedy Store open mic. It boils down to “Men like boobs, they cannot be improved, they hate women.”
-Also, there are a number of phone conversations where one character covers the receiver and has a conversation with someone in the room with them, and the person on the other end doesn’t really seem to mind.
-This movie sucks and I’m abandoning this project/film before I start writing “cunt” WAY too much.
-She’s got an earpiece in and Gerard Butler is telling her what to say to her date. Did wacky hijinx ensue? WHAT, ARE YOU A FUCKING MORON?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
-Jumbotron gag alert: It looked like she was blowing him at a baseball game because the kiss cam pointed at her while she was cleaning her dates crotch off in a way no person ever would.